How Ya doing? Everything on countdown for Xmas I suspect. Nothing much happening here on the Land Rover front as I write to you all just now. The Camel 2 door Classic has been sold and we are down to 2 cars now, the Ford Ranger our posh car to take Mrs Thorn wherever her heart wishes for me to whisk her off too, and the Discovery 2 TD5 off roader.

I had to laugh when the Classic was sold as on one of the so called Camel FB sites, some of them noticed that my old girl had been sold and the new owners had immediately put it up for sale on Ebay. Not worried a jot about that I got what I wanted for it, and its gone off my drive and its history. So all these nerds start having a right go, its this, and its not that, its not a real one like mine. Well I never claimed it was as it could never have been used on a Camel event, coz it never had an internal roll cage you idiots. So I just looked at all this nonsense and someone asked if I would like to comment. No. Then one of these Camel Trophy experts went too far and posted something like “there is no way that car would have been painted in Sandglow the CT colour in 1979”. How do you know this to be true, did you work in the paint shop at Lode Lane back then old son?

So Charlie could have got all in a strop as I don’t like being called a liar. I know, as I have had parts of it back to bare metal during the rebuild, and that Land Rover painted MWK my old 2 door in Sandglow inside and out in 1979 then they registered it, and that is a proven fact. The only thing I don’t know for sure is WHY. So did I get into all this ignorant trash talk. Nah! Cant be arsed lads, I just came off the page and let these armchair warriors who aint got nowt better to do, get on with it. Think what you want, I got cash I needed in the bank and I'm cool. One last thing. After all the years I spent writing in Land Rover magazines one thing I know. Don’t ever make up or pre-suppose anything. Check and double check your facts first before you go to print. “All-right Charles calm down dear”. Well bunch of twats.

I'm pretty sure your not too interested in this sad old farts personal life, but I'm a bit snookered right now, stuck up right behind the black ball, as I can’t drive for a while. RATS. I was working out the front on the TD5 and I was fixing one of the side bars on. After a lifetime kneeling down at work and furtling with cars, me knees are shot to bits, so I don’t kneel down anymore, unless I'm begging Mrs Thorn to stop beating me.

I got this old small stool with wheels on, and I was drilling thru the side bars and into the cills and out the other side to get the long bolts in, and oh calamity. I was pushing hard and the stool shot back on its wheels. I had to clutch me stomach low down as it hurt like mad for a bit, and I thought no more about it. Few days later getting out the shower, I did the check we all do lads don’t we? You know, down below, underneath the arches where we have to have a furtle around? Bugger if I didn’t feel this lump in me belly on the right side. Nowt on the left so off later to the quackery and me quack tells me “its hospital for you, you daft old bugger you gone and got yourself a hernia”.

So 7 days ago I was in a private hospital. “Oh so hes sold the Classic and hes spending it now like Lord Lah De Bleedin Dah.”? No! I was given the option to go to a private hospital as it was quicker to get it done on the NHS. Sweet, I’ll have some of that. Private room and bath better then our house, me own nurse cushty. Its a funny old operation I wasn't in any real pain before I had it done. But when the anesthetic wore off when I got home later the same night I had it done, and all of a sudden “blimey hold up who just kicked me in the guts”? I'm scared to cough or sneeze a week later, but I'm being a brave soldier, and I wrap up and hobble round the block 3 or 4 times a day as I Gotta Keep on Movin as the song says.

Anyway back to LR land as soon as I'm able the Discovery goes into Danny England's to have a couple of holes welded over under the front wings. When Danny does these welding jobs he has me on Fire Watching Duties. He dresses me up like Fireman Sam and I have to hold 2 old Fairy Liquid bottles full of water and if I see a lickle flame or smoke inside the car I have to shout out “Whao there Dan” and puff and spray it out.

Few more weeks and its another year over at the off road site I look after down here in Kent and we are already taking bookings for 2018. We are doing OK , and the clubs we have there have all been good lads. So a jolly Happy Christmas to you all, and let me know if you read any of this wont ya, otherwise I shall be doing this for meself, and I shall feel a right twit? Well time for another amble round the block, so keep in touch and I see thee soon.