Tomorrow is the 1st of May as I clatter the keys at you and “Oooh they said, global warming they said its hotting up they said”. Well it’s not bloody hot round here mate. The rains been hammering down all day since midnight yesterday and for weeks on end here, but to be fair it’s just stopped (7;15pm) at least for a few hours I hope. But by the cringe boy is it cold, I’m freezing here chief.  The room stat is cranked up and there are logs banked up on the fire. I suppose it’s an age thing, my twisted, much broken bones can’t take it anymore. I was gonna say I got a 3 year diary but I aint. I just got a big one and I cram in 3 years worth, just alter the dates as the days come round. Tight sod. But I did note that this time last year we were in our weekend bolt hole in the caravan and Simon Stevenson was tucked up in his one beside us, and we had a barmy few days in blazing sunshine. It’s a funny old country the weather we get here but it’s still the best place on earth.

So how have ya all been then? (come on then speak to Charlie). I’m in agony all down me left side I feel all limp, (am I turning into my old mate Larry Grayson?) Shut that door and look at the muck on here. No listen, I was down the site with Barrie and his digger and I was walking along past a bramble bush. There was a loop of it sticking out and it caught over the toe of me left boot and me leg wouldn’t come forward. Me weak right knee gave out and I shot forward and crashed into the side corner of the carsey. (Now stop laughing you lot it aint funny). I hit it so hard it’s a wonder I didn’t knock it over. There’s a piggin good hospital just been built near us now, it’s a sort of new old fashioned cottage hospital. Well you know what I mean. Unlike the one up the road which is like a town, this one’s groovy and you don’t have to wait 6 hours before someone says, “what’s up moosh” and for God’s sake stop screaming”. You’re in and out in a trice and you are seen by senior nurses. Mine gave me a seeing to and I was convinced I had a few broken ribs, but she tells me it’s bad bruising. Bad news is it still smarts half tidy 22 days later, and it could take up to 6 weeks before I feel pain free I was told. I start to feel better then I sneeze and I’m back to square 1. RATS.

I get a magazine from a car association linked to where I worked for a while, and the letters to Editor bit is always a hoot and sometimes enlightening. Recently a chap wrote in it that these daytime lights were daft as in modern cars like our Ford Edge, the rear ones don’t light in daytime. Another guy writes that all daytime light are stupid and then the avalanche starts. Its pointed out that these front lights on a car are for the purpose of seeing cars coming, not going and that’s the reason for them. They are to make the approach of vehicles more easily detectable in such conditions as bright sunlight, especially when the car is in silhouette, or even if a driver has not demisted the side windows properly and they are just about to pull out of a driveway or a side road. Never thought of that meself but seems fair. But then it goes on that another reader joins in the lights issue with one of my gripes, and it’s these twits that drive with fog lights on. Come on people what is that all about, and when it’s one of those high intensity (as a lot of car lights are now) rear red fog lights that drives me nuts. If you follow some idiot who does this for too long this bright red dot becomes mesmerising and makes you blink. And there is one thing I have seen already one day when the sun shone, and it’s this one, the twerps that drive one handed with their right arm hanging down over their driver’s side door.  Don’t get me started people, that drives my bleedin nuts. I want to scream at them, “2 hands on the wheel you feckin clown”. Calm down Chas you got quiet steamed up their old son.

Off road wise we have had a change down at the site I look after as I am hosting all the regular events there now, owing to the landowner telling me he wants me to. Billing looms ever larger and before that we have an open day at the site to organise and another trip with a small party to do some green lanes in Wiltshire. I do these trips over a weekend about every 6 to 8 weeks and its nice to get away to have a laugh (mostly at my expense, nobody loves a fairy when he’s old) but Hey Ho who cares. Till I Blogg again be safe out there my muddy chums and may your God go with you.